Have been in need of updating my blog and yet life has gotten in the way! It’s interesting when you have all the time in the world because you are stuck in bed and when you are able to go more life gets crazy! I guess that is a good sign for me! There has been lots going on- talks with other doctors, discussions of what to do next, lots of talks with other lymies and their treatment plans…some that have worked, others that have not and what is so hard that we are finding is that for those of us lymies that have had this viscous thing for so long there is no FOR SURE, YOU WILL BE CURED, whether you COMBINE ANTIBIOTICS WITH ALTERNATIVE TREATMENT, ONLY ALTERNATIVE TREATMENT, ONLY ANTIBIOTICS treatment plan that works for everyone. Everyone is different, ever persons body responds differently, every lyme disease and co-infection is treated differently…WHY? No one really knows! That is the hard part! Who do you trust? What do you do? Where do you go to find that trust? Well, for me I have found it from God…God has given me the ability to not question Him with WHY or WHEN or even HOW (although it is hard to know what to do) but He has given me a peace of mind to know that He is in control! He knows what will work best for my body even when others question what we are doing and how we are treating it. We are going from where He guides us, who He leads us to and the journey He is still taking us on. Am I better? Some days! Am I cured? Not yet! The important thing I have come to learn through this is that God has me in HIS ARMS! Am I nervous? Sure at times! Do I get anxious? Yes, often but do I dwell on it – NEVER! God has 100% given me HIS WORD that I know I will be healed one day! When? I have no clue and honestly I’m not worried about it! This disease in my life has given me a total new look on life, on friendships, on my relationship and faith in God, on raising my girls, and on my relationship with my husband. We live in a world where unless you are just thrown on the ground with cancer or an illness or a very hard battle to fight we find ourselves able to live without the need of the Lord on many levels. We worry about such small things and think we deserve everything. I have even found on my good days, I don’t “need” Him near as much. I count it a great blessing to have gone through this and still be going through it! Life is much more meaningful and not that the small things aren’t or can’t upset you but again it puts things in perspective and usually brings light to something God has been trying to teach you for years! Do you focus on the problem or on maybe where God is taking us and how He is guiding us and using us through the problems. It’s like I was reading about this guy who was diagnosed with luekemia and his outlook on this was not to be in sorrow and pity for himself but to reach out to all the others dealing with this problems. it was his assignment! And I thought wow, there has been over 100 people that I have connected with since I was diagnosed and never would have met them if I did not have Lyme Disease! How cool? It’s all part of God’s plan! I am in awe of the daily miracles that happen in our life that I maybe used to not even think of them as a miracle but of something that just is part of my life and what happens everyday! Well not really…there is so much more that we don’t see everyday because we choose not to! Have you ever thought about that? We spend so much time worrying and focusing on things that don’t really matter and we miss SO MUCH! I know I have missed so much and slowing I am beginning to see small glimpes of hope is so many others lives and in ours that I would have missed if it weren’t for going through what I am going through now! We are so blessed! So beyond what so many people could imagine having in life and are we even thankful? We lose touch and focus I think. I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad but it is often as the persecuted Christians say throughout the world there is JOY even in our beating, and in a place where you can’t get any closer to death but there is JOY, LOVE, FORGIVENESS in their hearts! I want that! And through this I have been given a very very small glimpse of totally relying on the Lord’s strength and joy rather than my own! God wants us to be filled with Joy, and goodness but many times what we think or the world portrays as good and true is not even close to the TRUE JOY and GOODNESS God can give!
Anyways, the girls start school tomorrow and I am starting some more treatments. We are not going to the University of Columbia this week now as it was very expensive and 4 people we talked to that went said it is not worth it as it is a repeat of what I have already done. So, we are working with our doctor and doing some new treatment plans that another lyme literate doctor is using as we are working together with lots of LLD’s.
Thank you for your continued prayers, for your love and support! We are doing what we believe is best at this time! Several lymie friends that have been through this for some 20 years have learned to treat it and live with it yet not cure it. There are flare ups that come! Then some others are cured, and some still seeking to be much much better and are at loss as they have tried everything! So please continue to pray for all the decisions we have to make to keep me healthy and my immune strong. We love you all and are so grateful for all of our incredible friends!
Love and hugs, Ann