It’s been a while since I’ve been able to blog…lots has been going on, lots of really really good days and a bad day here and there but truly feel that my treatments are working. We are so grateful to be getting good results and yet know that I could have another episode or I could go in remission or I could be cured! You know what, as much as my heart yearns to be completely cured (as would anyones) I want to be able to touch people’s lives, bring back hope to people’s hearts, give people encouragement however and whoever they may be even if it for 2 or 2,000 people. I want the Lord to shine in my brokeness so people can see He gives HOPE and LOVE and is the GREAT PHYSICIAN! So that is why everyday I wake up all stiff and yucky feeling to get out of bed to hear my sweet husband or my precious girls say “wakey wakey” how do you feel today mommy? what can i get for you babey?” Man, I am BLESSED! My girls crawl in bed with me and want to watch cartoons or a movie together and my sweet Elliana will say Emersyn mommy is very tired so let’s lay here with her!” One of Elliana’s cute stories was some ad for a prescription drug that started with an L…(i cant remember) she was listening to and she said, “hey mommy, they just said Lyme Disease, that’s what you have” maybe you should get some!” she is just so precious and I can’t believe they are both going to be 2 and 4 in June!
We went to some new and yet dear friends wedding this past weekend and during their vows of the sickness and health part I was hit HARD!! As I was sitting next to Billy holding his hand, I closed my eyes and listened to them say those sweet words, scary words, and vows for a lifetime no matter what! It brought tears to my eyes as I never imagined either one of us having such crazy health issues at such a young age and/or stage in our marriage. And then again, we both always say…man our marriage and our relationship has just been so wonderful and smooth – little issues like everyone of course and then when my health became the thing that truly controlled our life, our marriage, our family we became even closer…we didn’t think it was possible but it was! It really is amazing how in brokenness God shines His love, His Hope, His new mercy each morning for me, for Billy and all of those around me daily. It is a little like Laura Story’s song “Blessings” You never know where God’s blessings will come from but I can say through my Lyme Disease I see blessings in a totally new way, I am much more forgiving, much more sympathetic to anyones “bad day” and yet my heart is filled with JOY and that can only come from the Lord! Not because I always choose to or am happy but I have experienced His PURE JOY like never before!
I have met a few other lymies (thats our groupie name) recently and have learned that different co-infections seem to cause different symptoms…mine I have the debilitating pain, joint issues, arthritis, shortness of breath, neck stiffness and some fatigue; however, the other side is that it effects more brain, memory, and debilitating fatigue in a way they literally cannot get out of bed, can’t drive, can’t do anything. We are still learning so much everyday! Learn that antibiotics works for some, oxidative therapy works for others, the Rife and Sauna work for some all along dealing with food allergys, supplements, building your immune system, etc. Some people have tried so many different things and can’t seem to get anything to work. It is a vicious and nasty disease and unfortunately the research and testing out there is just NOT GOOD!
Learning new stuff every day and trying to still live as normal of a life as we can for the sake of our girls. Again, we cannot thank you enough for your constant prayers, your love and friendships.
Your cards, your calls, your texts, your comments always keep me encouraged and I hope that I can one day return it to each one of you who read this blog!