1 day at a time…

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to blog…lots has been going on, lots of really really good days and a bad day here and there but truly feel that my treatments are working.  We are so grateful to be getting good results and yet know that I could have another episode or I could go in remission or I could be cured!  You know what, as much as my heart yearns to be completely cured (as would anyones) I want to be able to touch people’s lives, bring back hope to people’s hearts, give people encouragement however and whoever they may be even if it for 2 or 2,000 people.  I want the Lord to shine in my brokeness so people can see He gives HOPE and LOVE and is the GREAT PHYSICIAN!  So that is why everyday I wake up all stiff and yucky feeling to get out of bed to hear my sweet husband or my precious girls say “wakey wakey” how do you feel today mommy?  what can i get for you babey?”  Man, I am BLESSED!  My girls crawl in bed with me and want to watch cartoons or a movie together and my sweet Elliana will say Emersyn mommy is very tired so let’s lay here with her!” One of Elliana’s cute stories was some ad for a prescription drug that started with an L…(i cant remember) she was listening to and she said, “hey mommy, they just said Lyme Disease, that’s what you have” maybe you should get some!”  she is just so precious and I can’t believe they are both going to be 2 and 4 in June!  

We went to some new and yet dear friends wedding this past weekend and during their vows of the sickness and health part I was hit HARD!!  As I was sitting next to Billy holding his hand, I closed my eyes and listened to them say those sweet words, scary words, and vows for a lifetime no matter what!  It brought tears to my eyes as I never imagined either one of us having such crazy health issues at such a young age and/or stage in our marriage.  And then again, we both always say…man our marriage and our relationship has just been so wonderful and smooth – little issues like everyone of course and then when my health became the thing that truly controlled our life, our marriage, our family we became even closer…we didn’t think it was possible but it was!  It really is amazing how in brokenness God shines His love, His Hope, His new mercy each morning for me, for Billy and all of those around me daily.  It is a little like Laura Story’s song “Blessings” You never know where God’s blessings will come from but I can say through my Lyme Disease I see blessings in a totally new way, I am much more forgiving, much more sympathetic to anyones “bad day” and yet my heart is filled with JOY and that can only come from the Lord!  Not because I always choose to or am happy but I have experienced His PURE JOY like never before!  

I have met a few other lymies (thats our groupie name) recently and have learned that different co-infections seem to cause different symptoms…mine I have the debilitating pain, joint issues, arthritis, shortness of breath, neck stiffness and some fatigue; however, the other side is that it effects more brain, memory, and debilitating fatigue in a way they literally cannot get out of bed, can’t drive, can’t do anything.  We are still learning so much everyday!  Learn that antibiotics works for some, oxidative therapy works for others, the Rife and Sauna work for some all along dealing with food allergys, supplements, building your immune system, etc.  Some people have tried so many different things and can’t seem to get anything to work.  It is a vicious and nasty disease and unfortunately the research and testing out there is just NOT GOOD!  

Learning new stuff every day and trying to still live as normal of a life as we can for the sake of our girls. Again, we cannot thank you enough for your constant prayers, your love and friendships.  

Your cards, your calls, your texts, your comments always keep me encouraged and I hope that I can one day return it to each one of you who read this blog!  

Feeling blessed, 

Ann 

 

And it’s a crazy life we live!

Well Billy and I were just saying that my pain, fatigue and health has been slowly disappearing – having more good days in between 1 or 2 bad days the past month (beside when I got that nasty bug) It used to be 1 good day in the middle of 6 bad days so we are so very thankful.  Yet we know it is not over or gone…but again putting every thing in PERSPECTIVE is what we have learned to appreciate more and more.  It wasn’t until yesterday afternoon that I lost all energy, was completely fatigued I could hardly keep my head up at the dinner table, didn’t have too much pain but then went to bed and could not fall alseep for so long.  Today has been filled with lots of pain in my arms, shoulders, hips, feet, hands/fingers, my head, my teeth, my hearing was bad, my energy was about 30%, I can never take naps during the day and I fell asleep about 2 different times.  I think just being in pain makes your body work so much harder that you are just exhausted.  Who knows…At least I haven’t got called in to serve for jury duty…as I was supposed to go all week! PRAISE THE LORD! WAHOO!! With a sick baby, no sleep, a new bug bite that turned into this nasty scabby, swollen, hurting area on my leg I had to go to the doctor…it got infected!  I guess due to the lyme my skin is extra sensitive and I was given some Kelfex.  Needless to say again, they tried to tell me that Lyme Disease doesn’t exist in the state of Georgia and there have been no cases (def. not a true statement)  I was not a happy person when I left that place.  Not even just for me, because we aren’t totally sure if I got mine in Indiana, Georgia, Wisconsin, or anywhere else I have been but that there are thousands of people who get lyme disease here in GA all the time and get no help or don’t find out till years later when it is too late that they too have Lyme Disease.  Again, confirmed 100% why I am doing what I am doing  -trying to help make others aware that Lyme Disease is real and all around us EVERYWHERE!! We need to be educated about it because it could happen to any one of us or our kids.  We need to seek for better testing, more research and get more treatment plans out there.  I got poo-pooed on completely and just made me sad that here I live in America where people help other people, we have good doctors, good insurance, good people and I know there is tons of new information coming out every day but if I was a doctor and had a patient come in telling me about something they weren’t totally aware I would want to find out more about, do some research and try to help my patient the best I could before I make a statement like that which is not true.  This was a small glimpse of that hopeless feeling that so many people have to deal with for years and years in trying to find a diagnosis, trying to get help and trying to just feel normal again.  

Anyways, excited to fill you all in on what is in the works and hope to be starting in the next couple weeks!! But can’t share any secrets yet!  

Thanks for your continue love and support! 

ARC

lovin, living, learning…with LYME

since its mother’s day…i get to brag and post a photo of my 2 little loves!! ImageImage

lovin on lyme…why? I sometimes sit and think about what I was made to do..and it is clear that I am made to love, to be loved, to love myself, to love others and to love this journey because God has given it to me.  I am daily loving the people I have met through this, the doors God has opened because of this and the tasks He has called me to do through this.  I AM EXCITED!  I have no clue how it all will pan out but whether I am fully cured or scooting around in my hot pink “jazzy” here on this earth I know that loving this lyme will only help others!  Help others who are battling lyme disease with me, help others become more aware and educated about lyme, and help others have HOPE!  Hope in the Lord!  Hope that people do care, hope that they are not alone and that there is a way.  

living…living with lyme so far for me has been interesting, challenging, frustrating, and growing.  It keeps us on our toes as we never know how my body will feel, what will work properly and what won’t, if my pain is gonna be debilitating or just annoying for that day, etc.  

learning…Literally every week I meet through a friend of a friend or their mom’s doctor’s wife or whatever another person battling lyme disease.  It is an epidemic as they say and just sad that everyone has the same story, the same problems with insurance, etc. etc. etc.  yet so much is coming out, so many more people are getting help and we are learning new things every day about Lyme Disease.  I am learning so much more about life, about putting things in perspective, about finding Joy in all things, about taking it 1 day at a time!  

Last Tuesday I got some bug or food poisoning and was throwing up from 9:30pm to 4:00am and it was down right MISERABLE!!!!! Trying to sleep but then every few minutes it starts coming…so I was stuck in bed with zero energy or strength till Friday!  I think I am the world’s worst sick patient!  Anyways, glad that is OVER and the past couple days I have still had no energy (truly was wiped out like I’ve never been wiped out) but very minimal pain.  So very thankful for these couple days that I could walk like a normal person.  Thank you for all your prayers and continued love and support!  

We are working on some really exciting and neat things such as a trailer for a documentary, and a few more surprises…so stay tuned!!  

Opened Doors

Honestly, I will have to say that Lyme Disease has strangely given me a new “zest” for going after things…things that God presses on my heart, things that I wake up dreaming about, ways I can help others…

I am a DREAMER!  Not just the typical day dreamer, if you could only be a fly on the wall of my mind…you would know!  My heart is exploding with love for so many things and I just get overwhelmed…I have wanted to start so many charities, an orphanage, adopt, help others who are hurting/sick, have a blog, write a book, I mean hey, even be in a movie…(not really, but…) So, me now being one of those “sick” people yet instead of sitting around feeling bad or sorry for myself I actually have put my car in drive and we are cruising down I-85.  (come visit if you really are near Atlanta on 85) We have started working on a documentary on my story and lyme treatments, etc.; we are in the process of making “lovin on lyme” leather bracelets (but really cool ones that you will for sure want to wear on a daily basis) for a fundraiser in helping raise awareness and research/documentary, and trying to plug away at my blog and my book while being a stay at a home mommy (my most favorite job ever) and a wife, keeping up the house, cooking, you know everyone’s daily life that isn’t always easy on a good day. So, when a bad day hits, it hits hard and usually the door that day is closed.  Closed to being the mommy I want so badly to be, the wife I yearn to be, the neighbor and friend I desire to be, and yet it is those days that some how I get to sit or lay and adore my husband  as he takes up every one of those things and be the “super mom” that he isn’t supposed to be but does because he is well the most AMAZING MAN I KNOW!  He never complains, he never loses focus, he never  gets angry or upset.  (okay maybe only at me when I try to do something on my own and I spill the girls juice all over the floor)  He is the one who sees everything behind this closed door and still stays strong, never fails to know exactly what I need just by the look on my face or in my eyes -He deserves his own post which will be coming soon.  

My struggle with trying to explain lyme is that is it simply a tough disease to explain, it is very individualized and it is difficult to treat.  The interesting thing is how much all of these “crazy fun” things we are working on are so desperately needed.  Literally, at least 2 times a week since I have been diagnosed someone meets someone or connects me to someone or I run into someone who has Lyme Disease -has had the same story as me, has tried years of antibiotics, still battling it and some are better.  It is just a weird, not-so-fun disease and yet God has given me a really big excitement to continue to open some really big doors in helping fight this disease that so many people suffer from.   

So thanks for “listening” to my heart and mind and riding down I-85 with us, doors opened or closed!  

Love to you all!  

The last few days (the joys of lyme disease)

Well we have learned that lyme disease is strictly for adventurous people…you never really know what you will feel or not feel when you wake up each morning or never know what new symptom might join with the other “family of symptoms”  Why?

1.  It is very individualized; it attacks people in different ways (some more muscular, others affects the brain more, some all different areas of the body and can be at all different levels from what we are learning.  It is pretty vicious. Some people are cured, and others have it for many many years.  As Billy said, “it is like a world no one wants to step into, there are layers after layers after layers.” 

2.  There are many different types of ticks, many different bacteria’s they can pass on which can cause other co-infections which again is another layer.  (we don’t want to bore you with all the details but when you start learning more about it and experiencing this disease it is well – CRAZY!) 

3.  There are several different treatments out there that some doctors say work, some say don’t work, some say it depends on the person and the type of bacteria and type of tick; no one easy treatment plan. And then again there are the co-infections which you have to figure out how to treat.  

Needless to say, we have many prayer requests: 

– Just writing this made me tired…we spend many many hours working on research, treatment options, documenting, and just dealing with my body pain.  All the while trying to be a “normal” family raising 2 beautiful girls and having fun, laughing, playing, keeping up a house, Billy’s job…as we all know everyone stays busy.  We need daily RESTORATION, STRENGTH and our TIME to be MULTIPLIED 

-Prayer for future treatment options (we have to wait another month to see if my numbers are elevated and if they are then we will stick to the same treatment plan) if not, we have to decide what the next steps are regarding my healing.  

-Dealing with possible Co-infections (praying against them but if I do have them then again, treatment to heal 

-For God’s continued provision financially

-For my body to respond and my immune system to RISE UP 

-For God to continue to open doors regarding a documentary we feel called to do and a book I am working on (we had a great meeting today with our doctors concerning that and are very excited about how God will use this to help so many others) 

-Continued excitement and gratitude to God for placing this in our family and doing more than we ever thought through it to reach others 

-My symptoms: full body pain, bad hip aches, fatigue, foggy mind, neck and head pressure, numbness and tingling in my left side, shortness of breath (At church on Sunday, it became very hard for me to breath and an intense pressure in my ears, head and neck…we had to leave and went to the fire station to check my oxygen and vitals; all were normal so again just another scary yucky symptom.  

Prayer for Billy to keep strong through this all, he is juggling ALOT right now!  

Thanks again for all your support, prayer and love!  We could not do this alone and are so blessed to have so many dear friends loving us through this!  

Thanks, Ann & Billy